It’s the simplest form of communication – two people speak to each other about a certain topic. Great if this is happening on the same level. Better still, if neither one is trying to verbally manipulate the other.
But even the most prepared talk can quickly turn into a duel of words when something unexpected happens.
Perhaps one person is even trying to employ verbal force – consciously or subconsciously. In such a case both parties face each other like combatants and the focus is no longer on what is actually important.
This is when word choice, grammar, voice, articulation, speech melody, pauses, mime and gestures suddenly turn into weapons.
Of course, each speaker and listener can decide for oneself how they accept and evaluate what is said. That is the freedom of choice and the responsibility of everyone.
Such unpleasant conversational situations can be avoided, however, by just implementing three important factors responsibly and explicitly. These three valuable factors form the acronym CAP.
“C” stands for clarity or clearness. How clear is your message really?
“A” stands for appreciation of your conversational partner. Are you really appreciating him as an equal human being, as the personal entity that he is? It is important to accept your listener (and speaker) and to appreciate him as worthy despite of possible hierarchical differences.
“P” stands for presence. How are you presenting yourself? How are you coming across?
Each spoken content can be analyzed along these three factors. If these elements are in harmony with each other, the basis for an effective and successful communication is given. Both speakers are then participating adequately in the conversation.
This is the type of CAP that all speakers and listeners should be wearing during a conversation. Consider which CAP you are wearing as you enter a conversation. Are you “dressed” appropriately?
This is just one helpful topic in mindful conversation that Astrid Weidner teaches in her speech seminars, such as “Language forms reality”. Being blind since birth, she knows the importance of clear and appreciative speaking all too well. She also hears many fine details and nuances that normal speakers don’t hear. This allows her to go beyond the regular conversation and to give special feedback on clarity, appreciation, presence and much more.
Join her in one of her seminars if you are interested in putting in and getting out the maximum during a conversation.